Crude Awakenings

In 1975 saucy superstar Jack Ladd (Robin Askwith) falls off his ladder filming Revelations of a Window Cleaner. He spends the next 40 years in a coma being visited everyday by his most ardent fan Fanny Waters, who takes great pride in maintaining his iconic hairstyle.

He miraculously awakens in 2015, a 25 year old brain in a 65 year old body. Keen to make up for 40 years of missed ‘shagging’ Jack begins a viagra fuelled odyssey of sexual reawakening. But times have changed and Jack finds himself bewildered by modern life, technology and culture.

Episodes include.

  1. The Guru. Jack signs with a Max Clifford style PR Guru who assures him he can maximise his exposure by organising guest spots on talk shows and reality TV. Jack’s disastrous appearance on Loose Women is compounded by his disappointment that they weren’t as loose or young as he had been led to believe.
  2. How Did I Get Here?  Jack becomes a contestant on ‘Celebrity Madhouse’, a reality series in which celebrities are confined to a working mental asylum and have to complete a series of psychological tests and challenges before the public can vote on letting them out.
  3. Operation Mulberry Bush. Jack’s name becomes linked to nefarious goings on at a Westminster brothel in the 1980s despite the fact that he was in a coma at the time. Can Jack clear his name and disprove the conspiracy theory that his accident was staged to avoid a police investigation?
  4. On Your Bike. Jack signs up as the face of ‘Naked Cycling Day’ but is dismayed to find that the participants are not at all like those on the Queen record cover and more like beardy old geography teachers.
  5. Jack and The Beanstalk. Jack signs up for panto but instead of being the handsome lead he is given the role of Dame. He seeks tips from old friend and panto veteran Bobby Crush, but things get out of hand when they get drunk and decide to hit London’s gay bars in full Dame costume.
  6. My Single Friend. Fanny signs Jack up to the popular online dating agency but instead of a recent picture uses a publicity shot from his 1974 film ‘Peckham Gigolo’. In an attempt to look younger younger Jack pays a visit to the unscrupulous Dr Wang who promises incredible results with a revolutionary ‘Serbian Facial Filler’. Unfortunately for Jack the ‘Botox-Like’ chemical has some strong side effects…

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