Advertisers increasingly resorted to the gimmick of making the mundane epic with the use of an ‘ironic’ Hollywood voiceover. Bookings.Com. McDonald’s, Money Supermarket…. “Dave works in accounts, he’s just saved 15 pence on next month stationary order and he feels AWESOME.” Enough already.
The European Space Agency landed a probe on a comet. Unfortunately news of what must be one of humanity’s greatest achievements was overshadowed by Kim Kardashian’s naked buttocks. In an effort to increase public interest in science ESA has announced that it’s next mission will be a manned landing on Niki Minaj’s arse.
Everyone had an opinion in 2014, or at least everyone had a video they could share of someone else’s opinion which made it look like they had an opinion. Everything from the middle east to the Ice Bucket Challenge, you simply couldn’t rely on good old fashioned indifference anymore. You had to take a stance, even if that stance required no more knowledge, effort or self sacrifice than the calories you burn on a few mouse clicks.
Russell Brand started a revolution except it wasn’t one of those take up arms and overthrow our oppressors style of revolutions, more do bugger all and share a few videos about how great Russell Brand is revolutions. The only actual change we have seen so far has been the rise of UKIP. Nice one Russell.
Black Friday became another new and exciting reason to start fights in ASDA.
The ‘Oscar Selfie’, ‘No Make Up Selfie’, selfies on sticks. 2014 has truly been the year of the selfie. For 2015 Harvey Nicks are launching the Personal Selfie Stylist Package. For just £500 you get hair, make up, fashion styling, pouting tips and 200 free likes on Facebook. For and extra £100 you can hire either Peter Andre, Vanessa Feltz or that bloke from Bake Off to comment ‘You look hot babes!’
Lots of people panicked about Ebola, a disease which you almost certainly won’t catch unless you visit certain parts of Africa. It also probably wouldn’t kill you because we have things like clean water and the NHS. Anyway, no need to worry about it now because Bob Geldof, Bono and those One Direction chaps have got it all sorted.
Nigel Farage narrowly beat Jeremy Clarkson, Rolf Harris (disqualified when someone pointed out he’s an immigrant) and Dapper Laughs to be crowned Briton of the Year.